Sleep

                Getting enough sleep is important so that the brain can work at maximum efficiency during the day.  Staying up late to finish a project, cram for a test or just watch a movie has a serious impact on both retention and comprehension of what was learned that day, but also your child’s performance in school the next day or two.  Studies have also shown that toddlers need naps after learning in order to help them process the new information.  Even for adults, sleep (or the lack of it) can have a serious impact on learning and memory.  It’s not just workaholism that is the enemy of efficiency – persistent lack of sleep has all sorts of negative impacts on mental and physical health, emotional maturity and intellect.  It is the parents’ responsibility to teach the children how to manage their own time at home so that they get their homework done in a timely manner (teach them to focus quality results achieved within a specific, reasonable timeframe – if you’re unsure about the timeframe, ask their teacher) and can get to bed on time.  DO NOT let your child stay up late to finish what is not done.  They should either finish it in the morning, at school before the class in question, or accept the consequences of their failure to complete their work.

The younger a child is, the more sleep s/he needs, and forcing a child to stay up late just isn’t fair or helpful, no matter how important you think it is.  Sleep needs vary, and some children will need all that down time in one go at night, while others will need most of it at night, but some after school in one or more naps.  You’ll need to observe your child to know what works best for him or her (not you), and you’ll have to keep in mind that as s/he ages, the amount of hours will get lower and the need for naps will most often disappear, but even some adults need a nap.  I allow myself the luxury of a 30-minute nap when I feel sleepy; people usually go into deep sleep after more than 30 minutes, which means that waking up prior to the end of deep sleep will make you feel lethargic, unfocused and confused.  If I really feel I need extra sleep, I’ll set my alarm for 30-minutes, wake up to the alarm, and set it for another 30!

Although sleep needs vary from individual to individual, adults need 8-9 hours of sleep, on average, while teens need 8.5-9.5 hours and children need 10-11 (age dependent), but preschoolers need 11-13, toddlers 12-14, infants may need 14-16 hours, and babies can need up to 18!  Children with sleep disorders (restless leg syndrome, snoring, insomnia, sleep apnea, periodic limb movement disorder, delayed/advanced sleep phase insomnia, non-24-hour sleep-wake syndrome, narcolepsy, night terrors, sleepwalking and talking, etc.) may just need to get extra sleep or to be taught how to turn off their minds, but they may require therapy, or possibly medication or special machines like nebulizers and PAPs.  In the end, sleep needs vary from one person to the next, even though they are of the same age and gender!

One of the greatest problems of most societies is that we are never taught that it is not necessary to think non-stop every day for our entire lives.  Not only do most people never stop thinking, but their thinking is uncontrolled and often destructive and disempowering.  In fact, we spend so much of our time remorsing over the past and worrying about the future that many of us miss the present moment, which is what life is really about!  This tendency to think too much has a bad effect on sleep.  Sometimes, the problem is as simple as the child is too worked up feeling emotions or thinking about something, especially if they’ve just finished watching something exciting or playing enervating video games.  Even reading a book or listening to music can cause trouble.  In fact, there should not be a TV in your child’s bedroom, and it is best if the bedroom is quiet, dark and cool.  Small sleeping chambers and larger rooms for play and possessions is a good choice.  It is best if they have a period of quiet time without play and stimulation to calm down at least 30 minutes before sleep (an hour is best).  Be sure to not give them sweets any time before bedtime, even if that means no dessert with dinner, because that will get turned into sugar and may irritate the stomach (indigestion) or be turned into fat (both of which happened to me), not to mention the possibility of diseases like diabetes.  If they DO eat sweets, they will need to exercise as soon as is practical to burn it off before bed but, remember, exercise immediately before bed may make it harder for them to sleep. One excellent idea, especially for pre-primary students, is to read them a nice story before bedtime – and be patient if they ask questions, don’t seem to pay attention, tell the story their own way, or seem distracted.  This quality time develops imagination and an interest in reading, which will be critical in later life, and strengthens the bonds with you.

Follow this up by doing specific exercises to calm their mind.  There are many techniques and you will have to discover what works best for your child (not you): abdominal breathing techniques (a meditational form of this is the Chinese Qi Gong), visual imagery to remove thoughts and emotions from their minds, praying, stretching exercises that use all the muscles of the body to release tension, telling the mind to be quiet, meditation, singing or chanting quietly the same song, or something else that helps them turn off their thoughts and feelings.  Routine is an effective way to develop this habit so sleep comes quickly, and it will also give the children a sense of security.

For those who have never heard of abdominal breathing and how to do it, I already posted a short article. Abdominal breathing for relaxation